The Engineers' song

(to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic)

We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers.
We drink to all good fellows who are fair and true and just,
But we don't give a damn about any damn man
                            who don't give a damn about us.

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show to all the villagers her lovely bare white hide.
The most observant man in town (an Engineer, of course)
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.


She said "I've come a long long way, 
                          and the man will go as far,
Who takes me from this goddamned horse 
                          and leads me to a bar."
The man who helped her from her horse and stood her to a beer
Was, as you may have guessed by now, our hero Engineer.


The Engineer arrived at class half drunk and very late,
Carrying a load that you'd expect to ship by freight.
The only things that held him up and kept him on his course
Were the boundary conditions and electromotive force.


An artie and an Engineer came on a gallon can,
Said the artie "Match me drink for drink 
                          and prove that you're a man"
They drank three drinks, the artie died, 
                          his face was turning green;
The Engineer drank on and cried "it's only gasoline!"


My momma's still in prison, my daddy's on the dole,
My sister used to walk the street but now she's on parole,
My brother runs a "barber shop" with bedrooms in the rear,
But I'm the black sheep of the bunch, 'cause I'm an Engineer.


Awake in Wright Building

[To the tune of "Away in a manger". Wright is the Oberlin College physics building]

Awake in Wright building one late Sunday night,
the poor physics student pondered his plight:
A problem set long, with no end in sight...
Of all of his answers, not one of them right.

He used all the tricks that his teachers had taught:
Expand about zero, then drop x-sub-nought,
Divide on both sides by modulo Z,
Take h-bar to zero, let pi approach three.

But all the tricks failed and by four in the morn
The poor physics major of all hope was shorn;
The sun rose next morning on a beautiful day,
But through all his classes asleep there he lay.